Fade Away
by Ai'Kirai
Summary: Axel was dying. Well, put more delicately he guessed you could say he was 'fading', but he knew it meant he was a goner. One-shot. Axel & Roxas. One of those 'what if'-scenarios.


This is how I think Axel's fading scene should have gone. Like seriously *puffs cheeks*

* * *

Axel was dying. Well, put a bit more delicately he guessed you could say he was "fading", but he knew it meant he was a goner. Wrapping it up in pretty definitions didn't change that.

He was dying and he could barely feel it. In fact, it was more like a weight was slowly lifting off him. Kind of unpleasant. He'd been hoping at least his own death would be something he'd really feel. Never mind though. He had done the last thing he needed to do. There was only one thing on his list of things to do before he croaked. Well, technically, this _was_ a plan B of sorts, but since plan A had proved unobtainable he'd had to settle. Not that it mattered. The second best thing was still pretty damn good when it came to Roxas.

Yup, he'd done what he came here to do, and now the red mark shone stark against the paper. Done and done. Signalling it was time for him to let go. He had saved Sora, and Roxas with him.

Though now that he thought about it, that didn't hold the same logic he'd first thought. Never mind though. Axel was dying, and he wasn't going to go down with regrets.

Sora knew what was happening too, by the way his heart felt like it was being crushed by invisible hands. He had no idea why it hurt so much though. Axel was no one close to him. Hell, before Axel showed up here like some suicidal knight in flaming armor he'd even held contempt for the guy. He had taken Kairi. _His _friend Kairi. The girl he'd made a pledge to protect, and somehow Axel had snatched her away while he was busy chasing after Riku. Just like that. It filled him with rage. Rage that was directed partly at Axel, but mostly just at himself.

This was so confusing. On the one hand, there was a part of him wanting only to get Kairi's whereabouts from Axel and leave, and on the other there was this part of him crippled by sorrow and desperation. He found himself grasping Axel's upper arm.

"Axel, what where you trying to do?"

Why _had_ he kidnapped Kairi anyway? It didn't make sense. If it hadn't been to further the organization's plans, then what? Axel's actions just minutes ago had shown that he and Organization 13 were not striving towards the same goal anymore. Just like that guy Saïx had told them. Also, why had he helped them if he had known that the cost would be his life?

"I wanted to see Roxas again."

Ah, so that was what this was all about.

Axel's eyes slid shut, but then he opened them again to stare at a point far away. He looked as though he was reminiscing.

"He…was the only one I liked."

Sora didn't reflect on how a nobody could even know feelings such as like. He knew that it was the truth. Axel had liked Roxas.

"He made me feel…like I had a heart," the red-head continued.

At this, Sora's heart gave an irregular thump in his chest and then the sensation of it being crushed came over him again. It was more intense this time. And all of a sudden it made him realize something;

Axel might have been no one close to _him_, but there was someone who had been. Maybe Sora did have a clue after all.

"It's...kind of funny..." Axel started, but Sora, who had been too busy listening to the gears turn inside his own mind to notice, interrupted.

"Then tell that to him!" He flung up a hand to rest over his heart. Sitting on his haunches and still holding onto Axel's arm with his other hand, this made him wobble until he managed to steady himself. His gaze turned down to the ground for a moment, and he could feel warmth flushing from his face down to his neck. He wasn't sure anymore which were his reactions and which were Roxas'.

Axel couldn't process what Sora had said. His head whipped around and he riveted wide eyes on the boy's face. Sora lifted his head slowly, seeing pure confusion in the other's gaze.

Axel's thin eyebrows furrowed. "...What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that he's here, listening. I don't know how, but he is. Now tell him all you wanted to say."

"You're kidding…" The sentence trailed off at the end, his eyebrows knotting.

Axel wavered between disbelief and accepting the unbelievable. His mouth opened and closed on its own accord. Was Roxas really there? In there somewhere? He looked into the face of his friend's somebody, trying to discern an answer. Was that why this boy made him feel the same way Roxas did; like he was a fully existing and feeling being? Like he was a complete person? All at once, that light feeling of fading away into nothingness, that feeling of idle resignation when one dies with nothing more to hang by, was replaced by more emotion than he had ever felt in his whole non-existence. Even more than with Roxasbeside him. Doubt lingered in his expression as he searched Sora's gaze, trying to see through those rumoured mirrors of the soul.

It showed on Axel's face the moment he accepted that Sora wasn't just grasping at straws. His whole expression cleared up, his brows smoothing out and his eyes rounding. His mouth gaped open in a silent "oh" of realization.

"Oh," he voiced. It was barely audible. "Oh, wow… I've no idea how this is possible, but Roxas, if you're really there…." There was a tension to the words, his voice almost breaking.

Silence followed. Tension. Anticipation. Sora wanted to shake what part of Axel hadn't faded into nothingness. _Say something you idiot! Don't leave him hanging like this._

Laugther. Axel chuckled and closed his eyes.

"Shit, I don't even know what to say. How stupid. I guess… I just wanted to say; I think I love you man."

"You 'think'? You've gotta be kidding me! Is that all you're gonna leave him with?"

The raged expression on Sora's face reflected off of Axel's pupils. Somewhere inside Sora, a very amused Roxas chuckled.

"Okay okay! Jeez, are you going out of your way to make my last moment as embarrassing as possible Sora?"

Pink tainted Axel's cheeckbones. He took a deep breath and fastened his gaze on Sora's.

"Okay, look, and stop laughing at me. Don't think I don't know just because I can't see you." He huffed, but his gaze didn't waver. "Okay, here goes everything I guess; I love you Roxas. You're an awesome person. And just…thanks for letting me get to know you."

Tears burned in Sora's eyes, but at the same time he couldn't help but smile. And as the first tears streamed down his face he even found himself laughing. This had never happened to him before, but it didn't confuse him. Sorarealized this must be how you felt when immense sorrow and happiness co-existed inside you, not battling it out but merging into one another. It was bizarre, though somehow it didn't feel inappropriate

Again, he had no idea where his feelings ended and where Roxas' began. Maybe they where just different sides of the same coin. His face openly displayed all of the emotions that Roxas' himself would have never allowed. The blond would have never sat there crying his non-heart out, or laughing like an idiot for that matter. That was purely Sora. But the rest… all of this raw emotion, this connection to the person that was fading away in front of him, this screaming unwillingness to let go, that was Roxas. Sora was the medium through which Roxas had no choice but to show all the things that pride had been keeping inside him throughout his non-existence.

And damn, it really hurt, Sora thought. When he found Riku and Kairi again he'd never let go of them. He'd never let them get hurt. As he thought this, his chest ached.

"Hey, stop crying silly. This is just good bye for now, got it memorized?"

Sora nodded, though tears dripped onto his hands.

"Oh and Sora?"

He was almost faded now. Just time for one last favour.

"Kairi's in the castle dungeon. Now go."

Axel forced open a portal. He allowed himself let out a deep breath as his eyes slid shut. Now that he really did have no reason left to hold on the fading picked up in pace. He went out like a candle, evaporating into black smoke.

Inside of Sora, Roxas went quiet.

* * *

Okay admittedly that was a bit sappy, even though I tried to keep sappiness to a minimum. But hey, when you write about a dying guy telling his best friend that he loves him, what else can you expect? Heh.

Oh, and by the way, I'm really pretty awesome at taking con-crit, I swear. What? No, I'm not crossing my fingers behind my back. Puh-lease. So neways...critique away :D Anything from pointing out spelling errors to "what the hell were you thinking?" is fair game


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